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| by Danny Internets | February 26th, 2009 - 12:10 pm
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50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Oh, Fiddy. I’ve idly stood by as you polluted my radio and television over the years, but tainting my consoles is where I draw the line. You know, not long ago an artist would have been called a sell-out for whoring their image, but now we refer to this practice as being “entrepreneurial.” Either way, you still suck, and so does your game.
In a nutshell, Blood on the Sand is 50 Cent’s attempt at vicariously living every violent fantasy he’s ever dreamed of fulfilling. The game is ridiculous from start to finish, from its premise of 50 and his posse trying to reclaim a jewel-encrusted skull from Middle Eastern terrorist crime lords to being able to purchase rocket launchers in telephone booths to the invokable “Gangster Fire” mode that stops time around the protagonist. Yeah, he’s also a super hero.
Like Ann Rice novels and movies by Michael Bay, Blood on the Sand contains lots of eye candy, action, and explosions, but you walk away from the experience feeling sadly empty and stinking of shame. Is it fun? Maybe, but so is using a stick to push a hoop down a dirt road. Let’s raise the bar a bit.
Wheelman
In the latest creative abortion featuring Vinn Diesel driving fast cars, players get to experience the thrills, chills, lacerations, and dislocated vertebrae associated with high-speed automobile chases and collisions. Originally based on IP owned by Midway, Wheelman was sold off for publication by Ubisoft a few weeks ago when the company filed for bankruptcy. Perhaps if Midway had spent a little more time developing a new title (their last successful franchise was, what, NBA Jam?) and a little less time putting out uninspired games loosely based on cinematic sewage like The Fast and the Furious they might have been able to stay out of the red.
I can’t get over the fact that, at some point, important, presumably intelligent people got together and collectively decided that making this game was a good idea. When I first heard about this game I had hoped it was some kind of Mega Man villain spin-off. I still do.
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| by Danny Internets | February 25th, 2009 - 1:31 pm
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April Fools came a few weeks early yesterday evening for Dawn of War 2 players greeted by a new 130 mb patch when connecting to Steam. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, the community lit up like a Christmas tree with curious speculation over what potential changes might be included with such a hefty update.
Unfortunately, it turns out the large patch was just a mistake. As Relic explains on the official forums, the fix was only intended to be 10 mb, but an error caused the update to redownload another 120 mb of redundant data, none of which is expected to impact game performance or stability of previously existing installations.
So what was the patch for? A simple fix for garbled text appearing in the “News” tab on the game’s main screen. Rad.
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| by Timmy Walnuts | February 24th, 2009 - 4:58 pm
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Sony Computer Entertainment announced today that the PS3’s quirky, do-it-yourself smash hit LittleBigPlanet will be receiving a second installment, set for release on the PlayStation Portable sometime later in 2009. Sony has been spending ample amounts of time creating a larger buzz around their handheld system, releasing news of a complete aesthetic overhaul in the upcoming PSP-4000 model. It comes as no surprise that Sony, in an effort to lure more gamers to the “dark side” of the handheld market, has other PlayStation 3 franchises making their way to the small screen, with Resistance: Retribution hitting stores March 17th, as well as off-road racer MotorStorm slated for release also in 2009.
I’m all for further installments for popular PS3 franchises - as long as they are not rushed and are designed well enough around the PSP’s limitations. The current PSPs (1000, 2000, or 3000) all lack a second analog stick, which will hinder many gameplay mechanics for any of the PlayStation 3 titles that hope to mimic their success with future releases within their respective series. However, mock-up pictures of the new PSP-4000 model does portray the much needed dual analog sticks, allowing for vast amounts of titles to start making their way to the PSP.
First, I can only hope that if these PSP installments make their way onto the current hardware, that they are designed well enough to manage the system’s physical limitations. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to maim the Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops development team for such a foolhardy camera system. Not only was it annoying, but completely necessary to Snake’s survival. Second, I really hope that the aesthetic overhaul that will be the PSP-4000 will see the light of day before titles like LittleBigPlanet hit the shelves. If these popular titles are forced to cripple themselves just so they may achieve portability, I don’t want ‘em. But with dual analog capability, future installments of PS3 franchises will be welcomed with open arms, and I’m sure Sony will appease; the dark side is strong in that one.
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| by Danny Internets | February 24th, 2009 - 10:24 am
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Blizzard dumped World of Warcraft patch 3.1.0 on to the Player Test Realm (PTR) downloader early this morning, which was greeted with the usual full spectrum of forum fanfare: threats of canceling subscriptions, rapid fanboyism, skillful trolls, and a few lost souls who still haven’t caught on that World of Warcraft comes down for 4+ hours every Tuesday.
Also typical of Blizzard’s patch releases, most of the changes seem to have been made without any grounding in the current state of the game and its community. While I do not maintain an active subscription with WoW anymore, I still frequent a number of blogs and unofficial news outlets from the community in an attempt to stay informed of new developments. The nearly unanimous sentiment is that Hunter dominance is ruining competitive PvP. So what does Blizzard do to address this?
Why, buff Hunters, of course!
World of Warcraft PTR Patch 3.1.0
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| by Danny Internets | February 24th, 2009 - 12:17 am
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Like countless others, I was once a poor, struggling college student forcefully subjected to the cruelty of circumstance and soulless landlords with their pre-installed wireless networks. Now I’m a poor, struggling adult held prisoner by my lazy unwillingness to rewire my apartment. No matter what your station in life, real gamers know that wireless internet connections blow donkeys when it comes to reliability. There’s nothing worse than camping that perfect spot, finding your mark, lining up your shot, and pulling the trigger only to catch a face full of lag followed up by some digital nards on the chin of your now lifeless avatar.
One of the most common reasons why wireless connections are maligned by gamers is because of their tendency to have frequent (but short) periods of high latency, often referred to as “dropping out”. This most commonly manifests itself as a 500-1000 ms stutter every minute or two. While not noticeable during low-performance tasks such as downloading files or web browsing, these periods of inconsistency are extremely frusterating during competitive gaming sessions, or in twitch-oriented first-person shooters. For three full years I cursed my various wireless routers and USB adapters for every arena match lost, every killing blow missed, every 25-damage pounce overshot due to regular latency spikes.
And then one day I found a simple solution to the problem that solved it once and for all. Turns out there was nothing wrong with my crappy Linksys router. My cheap D-Link USB adapter wasn’t malfunctioning. The problem was…
MICROSOFT. (surprise)
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| by Timmy Walnuts | February 22nd, 2009 - 8:58 pm
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Being that the trailer has been out for a couple days now, the gaming world has had enough time to bask in the Mass Effect 2 teaser’s glory. After the news that ME2 will offer substantial connections with its prequel (see: BioWare Explores New Frontiers in Open-Ended Gaming), meaning that you’d best play the first one before the sequel comes out, BioWare’s release of such a tantalizing teaser continues to ready the gaming community for another all-encompassing journey into the deepest reaches of space, without uttering the words “Jedi” or “Klingon.” (Which is not to say they aren’t concurrently working on another massively ambitious Star Wars project.)
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The trailer begins with a nice expansive view of some planet within the game’s solar system, with what seems to be a log from the Normandy, Shepard’s ship from the first game. The log notes Shepard’s credentials, as well as listing companions from the prequel. It then transitions to the first human Spectre’s status, which is stated simply as “Killed In Action,” with an unknown extraterrestrial revealing itself right before the end of the video.
Now obviously, Commander Shepard can’t possibly be dead, for he is once again the game’s protagonist, as well as the known connectivity with the series’ first installment. This does allow for very deep story progressing, offering vast amount of plot possibilities. Is the final shot of the teaser somehow connected to the reapers? Or is it a new threat to the Council (or the Systems Alliance, depending on how you ended the first game)? Will there be more lesbian sex? Will Seth Green be back? Too bad we’re not going to find out until probably the 2010 holiday rush, considering that BioWare has Dragon Age: Origins set for release sometime during the second half of 2009.
But they’ve done well with this teaser; gamers around the world have been left with significant blue-ballage. I know I’m sweatin’ for more Mass Effect greatness, and I think I may just give the ol’ girl another go.
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| by Danny Internets | February 21st, 2009 - 11:47 am
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Over at the Bethesda Blog, where Bethesda Softworks developers are able to communicate news and inside information to the community, some new information regarding the next piece of DLC for Fallout 3 was recently revealed. This new release comes hot on the heels of three new screenshots of the game (including one featuring the new auto-axe, basically a huge buzzsaw that you can use to cut enemies in half) released on Thursday.
The new information comes from hands-on impression exclusives offered to attendees of the 2009 DICE Summit, an interactive entertainment symposium featuring presentations by many of the biggest names in the gaming industry, which took place this past week. The folks over at IGN and Gamespy were both given a full hour to play around in the post-apocalyptic sandbox of Pittsburgh, an industrial slum fueled by slaves and ruled by a tyrannical raider. The expansion begins with the main character being confronted by Wernher, an escaped slave of The Pitt looking for the aid of a hero; if his story isn’t enough to tugg at your heartstrings then perhaps the rumor that the ruined city’s slaver lord is in possession of a cure for mutation might be sufficiently enticing. Wernher leads you to the rail system, presumably how he made it to the Capital Wasteland, and gives you access to a small, man-operated traincar that can get you to The Pitt. Once you’re in Pittsburgh you will be unable to return to DC until the mission is completed, and it is currently unclear if you will be able to return after completing the content. Hopefully Bethesda will learn from gamers’ reactions to how the main story ended and not repeat the same mistake.
Unlike Operation Anchorage, a combat-heavy release of DLC that looked more or less like the original game with some recoloring, The Pitt is reported to be much more plot-driven, with a lots of new dialogue, quests, and the morally ambiguous situations that have come to distinguish the Fallout franchise. I think most Fallout 3 fans will welcome this change. Even Todd Howard, the game’s executive producer, admitted that as a first-person shooter, Fallout 3 is just mediocre (which begs the question, why go to the trouble of creating new content that is almost entirely combat-based?).
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| by Timmy Walnuts | February 20th, 2009 - 5:34 pm
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Have you misplaced a part of your youth? A convoluted, engrossing story? Individualized, quirky characters? A grossly overpowered, unusually stylish protagonist? Looking for that four person party? That menu driven combat? The countless amount of grinding? The four to six stage final boss? If you’ve answered yes to one or all of these questions, then you, like me, are itching for a traditional, console-style RPG.
I, more than most, am an RPG whore, and will play most anything that receives a decent amount of buzz. I’ve tackled everything, within the last few years, from Fallout 3 to Eternal Sonata to Rise of the Argonauts to Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, with most titles offering an engrossing experience that I can thoroughly explore and enjoy a fulfilling journey. But most action RPGs (and similar variations), unless new aspects are added along the course of the game, get boring and repetitive. I don’t know how many times I had to put down FFVII:Crisis Core in disgust because I just couldn’t take the monotonous combination of mission-driven sidequests and mindless repetition of the “x” button. Or how I maxed out my level in Mass Effect before I could finish masturbating to the alien lesbian sex romp. Yet, I cannot dispel (you see that I did there?) my anger onto this sect of role playing games. I enjoy the adventure they produce, while also finding myself becoming completely engulfed by their respective worlds. And it is this fascination that has spread over the consumer faster than a chimpanzee can destroy a woman’s face (what, to soon?). The industry is driven by the consumer, and today, the largest group of people within the video gaming world is your 18-to-25-year-old male who’s looking for everything to be on a fast-paced track to EXTREME.
With the fast-paced, action obsessed youth being popped out of the uteri around the globe, it’s no surprise games like Mass Effect, Fable, The Elder Scrolls series, Tales of Vesperia, Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, and Valkyria Chronicles have become the norm for RPGs on this 7th generation of console gaming. Yes, there have been some solitary, traditional releases over the three year span of this generation, but Lost Odyssey and Blue Dragon, as much fun as I had playing them, haven’t exactly satisfied this ongoing hunger that previous generations never failed to conquer. I have also enjoyed the re-releases of past classics; both Star Oceans and Chrono Trigger provided a great deal of fun, not to mention the resurgence of my youth. But on such a small screen and all three being games that I’ve beaten before, my role playing desires haven’t exactly been met. Planned RPG releases for either the 360 or the PS3 are somewhat numerous, albeit far between, but are either action or PC styled, with no satisfaction in sight. The traditional, console-style RPG, or sometimes “jRPG,” is a dying breed. A genre being slowly murdered by the consumer.
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| by Danny Internets | February 20th, 2009 - 4:53 pm
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Similar to the popular realistic decoy character sprays for Team Fortress 2, Zenodice over at The Nexus has just released a set of boss infected sprays for the popular zombie shoot-em-up, Left 4 Dead. These custom decals constitute a very effective means of obtaining a slight edge in competitive play, or a few cheap laughs as you watch noobs waste their autoshotgun ammo in a panic.
Visit the author’s site for the full download and instructions on how to install the sprays. Rumor has it he’s also working on some outside-the-box ideas for survivor sprays. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Author’s site: The Nexus
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| by Danny Internets | February 19th, 2009 - 1:16 pm
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According to Gas Powered Games community representative, Frogboy, on the official forums, the beta for Demigod is scheduled to enter its final stage of testing today in which developers and players alike will scrutinize the finer points of the game, such as balance and bug fixing. The different phases of the overall beta testing process for Demigod are as follows:
BETA 1: September 2008.
The first beta focused purely on the engine. In many respects, you could have called it an alpha. It was designed to get a scope of the performance, test out the engine features (fog of war, particle effects, shaders, Demigod models, etc.).
It was explicitly designed NOT to be fun.
BETA 2: December 2008 (intended for November but we ran late).
This second beta focused on getting the Internet connectivity set up. It was not designed (or expected) to be bullet proof but rather to provide us with data. Similarly, while the game wasn’t supposed to be fun at this stage, we took in beta feedback and user experiences with connectivity to focus on beta 3.
BETA 3: February 2009
So now we’re in the meat of it. The game mechanics are pretty much set at this stage. This is where we look at balance. Players are welcome to suggest anything they want but obviously, anything that’s a major game changer would have to wait for a future update or expansion pack.
Beta 3 will have the Pantheon persistent universe tournmanet in it. Right now, it’s forces of light vs. forces of darkness (two factions) each with its own set of Demigods.
We are open to ideas on the pantheon and what other tournaments you guys would like to see in the Pantheon and how you would imagine them working.
So how well will the Pantheon work in beta 3? The answer is not well. It is going to take us a bit of time to tweak the logic in setting up pantheon games.
Connectivity in skirmish (custom games) should be massively better than Beta 2D but still no where near where it’ll be in the final game.
The Pantheon stuff should work just not terribly well. Between now and release we’ll be improving on this dramatically as we collect more data.
The main point of Beta 3 is to test out the architecture, make bug fixes, refinements, and balance the game.
Demigod, developed by Gas Powered Games and published by Stardock, is slated for a March 27th release date in Europe, April 14th in North America.
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